my students....

they are such a darling...every single day, i have to put something interesting to teach them...every day, i think about them. then today, i thought of them because im not teaching anymore...huhu...i miss their attitude. always "hey ya, dun want la teacher...hey ya, so many...teacher i want to see my boyfren..." do they think about me when another teacher is teaching them?

does it matter?

sometimes i wonder wats life without my 'prince charming'? how would he look like? is he a nice person...can he be my 'friend' too at the same time? it seems like he will never come...mr.g obviously ran away oready...and mr. A is still in an open relationship. so, im still searching for the one...i wonder would he be thinking about me too rite now? i mean my 'prince charming'...does it matter if i dun hav anyone in the end? does it matter if i wan to be a single mother? does it matter raising ur child solo? everything does matter nowadays...i should stop thinking about men and focus more on myself...fighting!

2 is better than 1?

...when u read the headline of this post, u must've thought about one of the song from boys like girls...i dun really understand the song...is it about two lovers being one? or is it about two boyfrens are better than 1? well, i prefer to have two than one...in searching for the ONE, u must open up and tell them the truth...now, i'm not really sure about my status...in a relationship or not? mr. g wanted me back and we talked about US... i told him about a man who entered my life recently that is mr. A...who was once married and now has separated wit his wife...mr. A is a very nice man, he made me feel happy when i lose mr. g the other day....mr. g and mr. A are very different person. there is a vast differences between these two men...mr. g says im not pretty and im not attractive at all whereas mr. A says that im very beautiful and sexy...some guys just say this to get into the girl's pants but its different with mr. A...when he talks or say stuff to me...he would just look into my eyes and i can feel that he really meant it...but i just get the feeling that he does the same to other women...but im not really sure...mr. g is struggling wit the pregnant lady...STILL. eversince mr. A entered my life...i feel like im worth millions...i dun need mr. g to make me feel secure...i just need my self-confidence and trust my self in doing things...mr. A taught me how to appreciate life. the other day, i invited him to a friend of mine open house...whenever people ask about US...he just said "yeah, we're lovers..." i was shocked but i felt good...and at the same time happy. i must admit that i cried a lot for mr. g that month but eversince i met mr. A...he makes me laugh and smile a lot...i really like him. cant believe im saying dis...but its true. if only mr. g can see that i still have feelings for him...but i dun tink he can...he wanted the time to heal everything...but i dun see any effort being put in...does he really mean it when he wants me back? im still hurt on wat he did to me...but i just say that im fine...i dun wan to complain...i'll just see how it goes. :) mr. A...arigato-gozaimasu!

...i dun really care

life's hard nowadays...when u really want something, it goes away all of a sudden...when u oready forgotten about the pain n move on...it comes back to u...u really tried very hard to keep it safe and protect it from all the dangers or obstacles as u mite say it...it slips rite in front of ur very eyes...things just dun last forever in my life. so, im goin to stay happy means not gettin hurt anymore...gudbye g, t, c etc...life's tough but if a guy cant appreciate wat u gave them, Lose them...i dun tink i deserve to be treated like this. soon, im goin to change my number again...for the 100th times...i couldnt bear the burden anymore...i know it hurts so bad and i just opened my eyes dat ol of them are useless to me...thans for everythin...as i dun really care wat u tink bout me...

he is lying...

i think he is lying to me...he told me about he got another pregnant...it's all just a lie...y cant he jez tell it straight to my face dat he doesnt want to be wit me...the end of story. sometimes, i wonder y he did dis to me...did i do something dat is so very wrong and he decided dat bein wit me is a mistake? dat is the last for me to eat back his words....i shud not trust him. he's just an ordinary guy...n nutin more...i tot he was different but he's not...he's just the usual guy who likes to play with ladies' feelin. i owez tot dat a guy like him to be loyal is just too good to be true...n i'm rite...he is just a BIG BASTARD who likes to lie. Sue's rite...i shud hate him...

i still cant get over him...

the flashbacks of my memory with him still haunts me...my god, i really want to get over him. the words that he owez says to me...lasnite, i still remember the words that he says about wanted to have a future wit me...i duno whether he is just kidding bout dat...but i did take it seriously. the first day dat we met after a long break...he told me dat he wanted me back...i asked him..."are u ever goin to leave me again?"...i tink i knew the answer but i just give it a try...he promised dat he'll never leave me....but it's just a promise...i sang a song to him by Kelly Clarkson...'already gone'...i never tot he listens to the lyrics....i guess its true because "...we were owez meant to say goodbye..."...it's just not our fate...i have to deal wit it sooner or later...i know it's goin to take months...but i have to...i dun tink he's worth it. Figthing!!! JiaYou!

....ex again...?

well...here's my new year....i'm tryin to lead a very simple n i tink normal life...but then...my ex wanted to get back wit me...i tot dat we wil be together for a very long period of time...then, sumtin came up and we decided to go on wit our lives separately...i owez tot dat havin ur ex back wit u is sum kind of stupid thing to do...very stupid. new year has been ruined by my stupid decision. i hope he's doin great and i dun wan to see him agen...and if i ever bump into him agen, i'll pretend to hav amnesia. so much for wanting me back and dumping me agen. so...freeugenia...does dat mean i'm free? i'm never free... :(