...back to square one...

...lies are always there when u do not need them. i wonder what would it be like to be with someone without any lies? i admit it that i do, too, uses lies to protect myself and ended up trapping myself. my new partner...he is the one who does not like planning. he is the one who likes to do one go...but ended up...not one thing has gone according to plan but ends up in the trash.

i  was frustrated that the trip has been cancelled and the car that he ordered until now no news. i think i, myself, has to do something to earn a car for myself. i was very stupid to do thing according to what he must say. i should do things what i'm better doing at. i feel very stupid waiting for a man to give me money and actually believe in him. GOD, i was stupid. life is never that pleasant. now i know how i should do things.

i should collect all the job offer that i can get and head on to my life. i need money. that should motivate me...No men can stop me from pursuing my destiny...

i feel like the world's been infected when u left me...

You lost me...

...endless miserable happiness...

...i thought that things could be better everyday. wish is just a wish, just to build a hope that will never happen. i am happy to have a boyfriend who maybe thinks that i  changed which i am just occupied with things around me. he changes too as he thinks about lots of stuff inside his head everyday about me. i knew that this day would come.

the thing about love is...it fades time to time. if there is no chemistry, leave it. if you thought there is something, it does not hurt to try but just do not let urself being fooled by it. i don't know my state right now, i am not happy and i am always miserable. going to the club is one of my ways to release the tension and misery...but he thought that i am looking for men. this is part of the reasons that i dont understand but it happens to everyone who is still a rookie. i am immune as i don't know the definition of love. when u love someone they corrupt ur freedom and ur mind. i hope no one is living a life just like mine. it sucks bad time.

What a bitch! Totally a scragg!

...i never know that she is that sort of bitch. i should not have trusted her. My god! this is what you get when u try to help someone who is ignorant. i hope God can show her something but it is too late to reconcile the friendship that we have built.

...wondering how and why?

...a very brave little puppy...

...he is very strong...he has survived for a week...he is paralyze. he can't move and he can't breast feed from his mom. my brother and sister made milk for him everyday so that it can live. i feel pity for this puppy. even the mom does not care about him. my brother bought a baby bottle to feed him milk with.

it is very surprising that he still lives. i hope that one day he can walk...and be  normal like other dogs. that's what i'm wishin for one day. i hope he stay for a long time...i'd b sad if he give up now. :(

beautiful nitemare...

i always thought of my life as a beautiful nitemare...love ones come n go but never one sticks. i was happy when i am with the man that i really love and cherished. None of that will be forever...everything is temporary. when they break the news about they love someone else, it crashes me into pieces...but whatever it is, i have to give the man that i once thought was mine a smile and say "it's okay, i am fine and it is normal. i won't force u. u take care".

i dun really know wat is it with me that attracts men that much...i think i should just keep quiet n smile. whenever i met a man that i want to be with...i never want to leave him. if it's a dream...i just hope that i stay in this dream not knowing it's goin to be bad in the end....life is beautiful nitemare...u want to control it but u never have the power to do it. every beautiful things that u dreamt of will dissapear once u open ur eyes...